open letter to my girlfriend poker

An Open Letter to My Girlfriend, Poker

Girlfriend, you gots to start treating me better. No ifs, ands, or

buts. Gots to.

I'll admit that I like the little games we play, the back and forth,

hot and cold, she loves me, she loves kicking me repeatedly in the

junk tango. I like a challenge. There's nothing whatsoever wrong with

fast horses and faster women but girlfriend, I like the fact that

nothing about you is easy and that you keep me on my toes.

But moderation, baby, moderation. You need to savvy up to that or I

may just go on walkabout for awhile, take a slow train to Albuquerque.

Deal me AA, flop me a third A, but have me lose to a guy with 22, who

capped it all the way with just a pair of 2s, only to catch runner

runner spades so that his 2 of spades plays for the flush? Damn, baby.

I may have not always treated you the best, but there's not a single

solitary thing I could ever do to you to deserve that.

That's just low down and mean, baby. Spiteful.

Losing with quad Ks to quad As? Come on, baby. Don't be like that. Not

only is that bad, baby, but that's bad beat jackpot bad. Epicly bad.

Like 1 in 12.7 kajillion bad.

I'm not saying you have to always treat me good, baby. Just don't