but is his girlfriend hotter than

But Is His Girlfriend Hotter Than Cristiano Ronaldo's?

Meet Kerlon Moura Souza a.k.a. Kerlon Foquinha, Brazil's next Big

Futbol Star. He's 19 and quite the up-and-coming talent. He's already

being heralded as the next Ronaldinho, which has meaning in the soccer

world, we swear. Clubs such as Manchester United, AC Milan, and

Middlesbrough(!) have recently shown great interest in importing

Kerlon to their respective rosters.

What makes Kerlon so special, you ask? There are a ton of good young

players out there, and there probably always will be. So what

separates him? Well, he does this. It's called "the seal dribble" and

apparently it's quite difficult to defend, though we haven't seen a

video of him actually scoring using the move. That's not really the

point though. The guy bounces the ball on his head as he runs past

defenders on his way to the goal. He ends up being awarded a lot of

free-kicks because the seal dribble causes him to get fouled by angry

defenders. The kid is also pretty damn good with his free kicks.

Not surprisingly, opponents of Kerlon's aren't huge fans of his

patented move. It even touched off what amounts to a full-on brawl in

soccer (let's just say they make baseball fights look like the UFC).

They say he's breaking an unwritten rule by showing off unnecessarily.

Oh Christ, when did Bob Brenly start playing soccer? If soccer players

really hate showing off, they probably shouldn't do this every time

they score (is that Peter Crouch doing the freaking robot?). Act like

you've bounced the ball on your head before, guys. Though we do

encourage Clint Dempsey to crank dat soulja boy the next time he