dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot

Dontcha Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me?

I try not to be an ugly person. I shower, brush my teeth, wash my face

and sometimes, I even put on makeup. I'm not stunningly gorgeous, but

neither am I a dog. Unless its a kind of cute dog.

The point I am trying to make is that I need you to remember that. In

fact, take a look at this first picture to remind yourself. Yes, it's

from 3 years ago, but I still look pretty much like that. See? Not so

gross.

The reason I need you to remember that I am not, in fact, hideously

ugly is the next picture in the series. I have been sick on and off

for awhile now, but yesterday and today took the cake. It was when I

got up this afternoon to take a crap load of drugs that I caught a

glimpse of myself in the mirror. Brace yourselves.

I look like the loser of a prize fight. I have the breathe-right nose

strip on so I can breathe at all. I have the swollen look of retaining

too much fluids and the vague look of death in my eyes. My hair is

held back by my eye mask which I pushed up briefly to avoid walking

into walls.

The best part?

I have a New Years Eve party in 4 hours. I may have to start getting

ready now or I won't make it.