girlfriend experience,love,girls,women: keep your eye on prize girlfriend

Keep Your Eye On the Prize, Girlfriend.

Sometime's there just aren't enough balls. That's when you have to

take things into your own hands. So if you're playing tennis, and the

balls have bounced away, and there's a hot sweaty man around, get him

on the ground and start making out with him. Now while you may think

that you can get more balls by grabbing at his testes, don't be so

vulgar and childish. Indeed I am not speaking of those balls.

Regardless, if you don't know the man well he may not be so trusting

as to let you just up and at his balls. Surely you could get at them

some how but that kind of hand ball intimacy may need to be based off

of a solid foundation of trust. Testes are very sensitive and indeed a

man may feel as though he's got his life in your hands. Do not let

yourself be distracted by desires to go for his nut gold regardless of

how tempted you are. You are losing site of your goal. You want more

balls. Tennis balls, and those ones on the ground are no good for

whatever reason. You're making out with him because he is a man and

you are a woman and you are a lazy one at that and don't make no money

cause women shouldn't be working, they should be in the kitchen makin

lunchboxes, so you need to steal his money by a quick ass/wallet grab

so you can go buy more balls. Or, if you're not a thief, alas no

worry, no moral barriers will stand in the way of your achievement of

said balls. Indeed you can and you will succeed. I have been with a

man or two in my day, and let me let you in on a little sexy tip I

learned along the way: deliver a swift prod in the chode with your

right forefinger. He will dispense tennis balls in caccoon like form

that will develop into full grown tennis balls in approximately 5-8

days. Moving on,

The Gap commercial asked me what my favorite song is. I think it's

Epic from Faith No More. Songs are great - am I right or am I right,

c'mon people!

Today's songs on the ipod getting the most play are:

Orenda Fink "Leave it All"

Kanye West "Gold Digger" and "Diamonds from Sierra Lione"

Jimmy Eat World (who has a new 5 song EP on itunes) "Game of Pricks"

Shakira "Lo Imprescindible"

Elvis "Any Way You Want Me"

Portishead "It's a Fire"

Buy tickets to Beer on the Pier 2 before they runsout!

I slept in Astoria last night. On purpose.

And the night before that I had this dream that all of my viens had

turned dark bright purple and you could see them through my skin all

over my body.

One of the Beautiful Images at ArtWingNY

Sundays are MTV reality show day. I treasure them, as I treasure that

70s house. MTV does reality best.

If you recently bought a computer or ipod (like myself) you're missing

out. You could've gotten it in color instead . . . At least I know

there's an enticing way to waste an extra hundred here and there one

day when I have it to waste.

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email: theheatherfink (at) yahoo.com

My Youtube videos

StandUp Comedy Shows

I make jokes on stages. I can host things too. You can book me to make

jokes on stages and host things and talk about it.

STREET MEAT

The superfun LES show hosted by Adam and me. Comedy mixed with real

folks from the street! Everything from scientologists in the subway to

flute players in the port authority. Yay!

At Cake Shop

152 Ludlow

NEXT SHOW:

Mon February 11th, 8pm

Mon March 10th, 8pm

Maxim Radio Guest

Sirius and on the web

11 am Feb 19

Variety Underground Guest

Thurs March 6th

standup

317 E Houston St

7pm

About me

* Heather Fink Enjoy this slice of my world.

Sometimes it tastes delicious.

Sometimes it tastes like balls.

* Chillin in New York, New York, United States

* this whole shit is my ship bitch and I'm the captain

* Reminder: There is a difference between meeting someone in life vs

reading their blog. I do not meet in person with people I do not

know.

STATS

* All about my *FORMER* J.O.B.

* My current J.O.B.

* GWU grad '03

majored in Philosophy,

minored in Political Science

and theatre

* RHS grad '99

* Law School Dropout '04

* Stand-Up/Sketch Comedy/Video/Improv maker

ITEMS

* Exit Weekly Interview

* Time Out NY article

* My SoHo shopping guide

* Kara Janx interview

* Michael Showalter interview

* Brian K Vaughan interview

* Flight of the Conchord's Jemaine Clement interview

* Queerty

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* Page 6

* LVHRD MZN 2

My Youtube Favorites

VISUALS

www.flickr.com

Heather Fink's photos More of Heather Fink's photos

GREATEST HITS

serious:

This is not bleak

When You're Young

On Strength

Cat Scans

Bonjour 2006

Sad Poem

I run low

on Fairy Princess

Self-Hating

On Religion

Basal Metabolism

Stay Away

Stupid Lady

Everybody Hurts

My Working Mother

The Importance of

Being Easy

Most of All

I Am A Writer.

Being Is

Without Sex

Never Forget

Sup My Niggaz

Not Yet

Hope

Fink 2.0

humor:

Renting in Manhattan

Kwanzaa

Back Fat

Advice

Shake It

Fun Things

Flickn Channels

Surprise

Ted McGinley

Wave of the Future

Snowy Isolation

Defragmentation

Images That

Give Me a Hardon

Hot Dog

Business

Summer Winds

Stallone

LV Bags are ugly

DF Bloodlust

Battle

Chocolate Lies

Latest Headlines

Keep Your Eye

on the Prize

MUSIC

Nine Inch Nails, Deftones, Tool, Jay-Z, Wu-Tang, Portishead, Tori

Amos, Jimmy Eat World, Dresden Dolls, Okkervil River, Luke Temple,

Sufjan Stevens, Orenda Fink, Cat Power, Keane, Reggie and the Full

Effect, Death Cab For Cutie, Wheat, Desaparecidos, Madeleine Peyroux,

Muse, Sondre Lerche, The Arcade Fire, Son Ambulance, Brian Wilson,

Tears for Fears, Damien Rice, Coco Rosie, Kaiser Chiefs, Rachel

Yamagata, Bright Eyes, Bjork, Serge Gainsbourg, Edith Piaf, Tapes N

Tapes, Debussy, Sinatra, The Postal Service, RadioHead, Blonde

Redhead, Weezer, Rufus Wainwright, any Twyker, Rodriquez or Tarantino

soundtrack, Mr. Bungle, Old Liz Phair, Nirvana, Beastie Boys

MOVIES

Terminator 2, (and 1 and kinda 3 also) Amelie, Princess and the

Warrior, Predator, Annie Hall, Pretty Persuasion, Sylvia, Three Kings,

Robocop, Fight Club, Snatch, On A Clear Day You Can See Forever,

Pillow Talk, The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, Elf, Lost in

Translation, Garden State, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,

Gandhi, Desperado, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Abre los Ojos (spanish

Vanilla Sky), Predator, Lord of the Rings, Rules of Attraction, Batman

Returns, Kill Bill 1 and 2, Bamboozled, Pirates of Silicon Valley,

Police Academy 3

TV SHOWS

Six Feet Under, Ali G, The O.C., Wonder Showzen, The Adventures of

Pete and Pete, Clarissa Explains it All, Most Extreme Elimination,

Desperate Housewives, Melrose Place, Aeon Flux, Liquid Television, The

State, Kids in the Hall, BuzzKill, The Office, 120 Minutes, Malcolm in

the Middle, King of the Hill, Ally McBeal, The Food Channel, Curb Your

Enthusiasm, Sopranos, Jeff Corwin, Bear Grylls Man Vs Wild, Space

Ghost, Adult Swim's Home Movies, Sealab 2021, Amazing Race, America's

Next Top Model, Apprentice, Mad About You, Rosanne, Golden Girls,

Inside Herman's Head, Date my Mom, I love the 90s, 80s, 70s, Reno 911,

South Park, Martha Stewart

COMIC BOOKS

Preacher by Ennis is the most entertaining thing ever created.

Starman by Robinson, DMZ, The Watchmen by Moore, Ex Machina, Y the

Last Man- both by Vaughan, Fables by Willingham, Batman: Dark Knight

Returns by Miller

LINKS

* George Washington University

* Roxbury, NJ

* Hoboken Attorney and Map

* The State

* Stella

* Sketch Comedy

* Rotten Tomatoes

* IMDB

* Hoboken411

FRIENDS

* Nathan Kloke

* Brandy Crawford

* Lucas Held

* Billy Scafuri (Librarianist)

* Rebecca Ciletti

* Adam Newman

* Rob Lathan

* Jesse

* Nikolas

* Shayna

* Brad

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* Justin

* Jakob

* Zak

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* Brandy For Sale

* Devon/Frowned Upon

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* Tod's company, PK12 Productions

* 1TuffPlace

GOOD BLOGS

* Tien Mao

* La Nina

* DeWitt

* Hello Hilarious

* Girlspoke

* Lucas

FUN STUFF

* UCB

* College Wit

* Defamer

* Group Hug

* My New Fighting/Filing Technique is Unstoppable

* Exploding Dog

* Luke Chueh

* Kill Margot

* Would You Like Fries With That?

* Football Season is Over

* Fortunately there is a better man.

* Summertime may be over, but President Bush still h...

* I've got contractions! (yay weekend)

* Katrina

* Don't get mad at me. One of them must die, ok, so...

* The OTHER Heather Fink...

* Aeon Flux Trailer

* The Baxter

girlfriend experience,love,girls,women

Tuesday, 12 February 2008

keep your eye on prize girlfriend

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