girlfriend experience,love,girls,women: always girl friend never girlfriend

Always the girl friend, never the girlfriend...

A friend realized recently that I'm not a girly-girl. He tried to pin

me down as masculine even, saying something to the affect that I'm not

good in the kitchen or at other "womanly" things. In typical Jaggy

fashion, there is a unique juxtaposition happening. The odd

two-sidedness puts me both at an advantage with guys and an extreme

disadvantage. I'm traditional and modern, conservative and liberal,

cultured and sheltered.

Take, for example, my dual abilities:

On one hand, I know where a fan belt is and how to replace it in a

car. On the other hand, I make wonderful soup and stew. I know how to

use power tools safely, and I am not too bad with a sewing machine. I

have a great aptitude for words, but I'm pretty good with numbers too.

I enjoy both technical magazines and poetry.

For myself, I try to learn as much as I can about what I'm doing.

Through that, I've became well-rounded. I think this turns many guys

off. They want to date a girl that they'll have to help, fix, rescue,

and protect. Guys don't want a girl who is secure in her independence.

They don't seem to want someone who can keep up in the shop talk or

the computer programming. The guys I know want a classic ideal. I

can't live up to it.

My male friends either want to date a woman with much dating

experience or none at all. I'm neither. They want overt statements of

morals and values before considering me, and I don't do that. I'll

always be too much of something and not enough of another thing.

Still, I don't think I should have to define myself for someone else.

I don't think I should have to relegate myself to being the dutiful

woman or the hipster or the butch princess or whatever.

It's not that I march to the beat of my own drum. I don't: I'm not

secure enough to try. I walk a little out of stride with everyone

else. Same beat, just a little off.

Always the girl friend, never the girlfriend...

quoting Jaggy about 8:26 PM Filed under: *Unique

3 musings:

Samuel John Klein Portlandiensis said...

You:

A friend realized recently that I'm not a girly-girl. He tried

to pin me down as masculine even, saying something to the

affect that I'm not good in the kitchen or at other "womanly"

things. In typical Jaggy fashion, there is a unique

juxtaposition happening. The odd two-sidedness puts me both at

an advantage with guys and an extreme disadvantage. I'm

traditional and modern, conservative and liberal, cultured and

sheltered.

Pardon me just a moment. I'm an occaisional reader of yours who

just had to delurk.

I'm married to woman who is a lot like you. As a matter of

fact, I suspect I need "taking care" of more than most dudes

you'll meet.

I cry a little and die a little inside whenver I overhear (like

I said, I'm butting in here) people critiquing a woman as "too

masculine" or "not sufficienty 'girly'". There may or may not

be a time or a place to make such judgments. I think they

should be made sparingly, if at all.

The idea that a woman should be 'girly' to some degree should

have gone out of style by now, I would have hoped. Of course,

if a woman wants to be girly, that's one thing - that's a

choice. I would prefer the people around me be who they feel

they are, and not feel as though they are obliged to fill

someone else's mold by fiat however.

You are of course fine however you are. But you didn't need me

to tell you that, as I can see.

I'm just piping up.

I like your blog. Keep it up.

9:01 AM

pril said...

I'm the same kind of woman as you. I'm just not as well-rounded

when it comes to the "girly" things. I struggle to cook. Can't

sew with a machine. But I do needlepoint and repair our cars,

play bass and guitar and leave a lot of the male musicians I

know in the dust. I'm built like the proverbial brick outhouse,

but wear T-shirts and jeans. When I was younger, and dating, I

found a lot of men to be downright afraid of me. It was hard to

get a second date- I refused to play girly-girl and often never

heard from a date again. lol! I eventually found a guy who

loved me enough as the freaky girl that I am to marry me.

Rather, he found me. Don't live up to the "ideal". Stop trying

to. Revel in who and what you are and the security to march to

your own beat will come. Women like us are unique, but not so

unique that we don't come across each other once in a while.

9:09 AM

David said...

Personally, I like a woman I can depend on. In otherwords,

someone who is comfortable with herself and

consistant...someone who appreciates her own strengths and

works (preferably with me) on improving any weaknesses

(weaknesses she percieves herself as having...not ones I would

label her). I hope that's a partial definition of growing old

together. I don't think guys want someone they can rescue as

much as they want someone who will stay the course during the

journey with a helping hand and few complaints. Guys need some

moments of that rescuing feeling just because we tend to be

very insecure in relationships and WE NEED TO FEEL IMPORTANT

TOO!!! Girls get their importance from accomplishing, aspiring,

and interacting. Guys get their importance by feeling like they

are important to someone else (and any other kind of guy just

promotes selfishness in a relationship...in that case you're

better off without him).

Just a few of my thoughts JAGGY...

David

9:22 PM

girlfriend experience,love,girls,women

Tuesday, 12 February 2008

always girl friend never girlfriend

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